Becoming a Caregiver

In a previous post, I talked about my dad having had Alzheimer's. When we were provided with the Alzheimer's diagnosis we had no idea how this disease would affect so many family members. We had no clue as to how we would take care of my dad. As his condition deteriorated, we wondered what changes we would encounter. Also, what should dad expect of us? Both my parents were in their 80's. How would we determine who would be responsible for his quality of life?  Who would be his primary caretaker? Does this role and/or function automatically fall to the spouse; to the eldest child; the child that is single or the child who lives the closest?

For the most part, we never like to think of our parents aging. We expect that they will live forever. The thought of our parents losing their independence is something we don't even consider. The realization that someday we may have to parent the parents is furthest from our minds.

My dad told me over and over that he did not want to be placed in any type of nursing/caretaker facility. He wanted to remain at home. He was completely dependent on my mom, oftentimes, becoming fearful if she wasn't in close proximity. Dad resented no longer being able to drive his car; he resented not being able to come & go; the loss of his freedom. How do you honor a parent's request when you know that by so doing, you may be causing further harm and stress?

Since my dad's passing, I've met and become friends with Ann Kasun, of ALK Life Solutions. Ann's company assists individuals in maintaining balance in their lives as they assume the decision making responsibility for aging parents. What I learned from my dad's situation, is that my family needs a plan in place that addresses how we will make decisions, and handle disagreements relating to the future care of my mom as she ages. Ann has provided me with ways of looking at things from the elders perspective, which will help reduce stress levels.


Please note: although I've focused on aging, caretakers also provide care to anyone who can no longer take care of themselves. This could be the result of accidents, a birth defect, medical issues, combat, etc.

Visit Ann's website, www.ALKLifeSolutions.com to determine how Ann can be of benefit to you, your family members and your friends.