Addicted To Needing Approval

Everyone has a desire to be acknowledged, approved and respected. We want to please people. Often times, people-pleasing leads us down a path of needing the approval of others. Why is having someone else's approval so important? Why are we so addictive to the value given to us by others?

Addiction can be described as a dependency or a habit. Addiction is a behavior pattern acquired by frequent repetition. If you are unable to live your life without the blessing from others, you may want to consider why their approval is so important to you. Doing what others want you to do may not be right for you. Are you going against your beliefs because you want to be liked or so you can fit in? What will that accomplish?

Take an honest look at your life. Where did the people-pleasing attitude originate? In your desire to people-please do you overextend yourself by saying yes to all requests for assistance? This behavior could lead to stress, anger, sickness and or burnout. Securing the approval of others is not worth carrying anger inside of you allowing the anger to build. It's not worth being miserable. I can recall a time when I craved the approval of others. Although I displayed confidence on the outside, inside my feelings of inadequacies continued to mock me. I would complain in silence. Deep down inside, I knew that ultimately I had the power of saying no. I had to own my decisions.

We also need to check our reactions when we don't gain the approval we seek from others. We should not feel sad, unappreciated or hurt. We should not feel that we failed. Put things in perspective. Don't go against your own convictions. There will always be someone who doesn't like, support, or agree with the things you do.

What options do you have of breaking the approval hold? Consider the following:
* Say no. Know and respect your limits. Review what you have on your plate and determine whether there is room to take on anything else. If there's no space, decline graciously.
* Believe in the choices and decisions you make.
* Trust your self.
* Let go of any fear that others will reject you or won't like you. If anything, you will gain their respect.
* Don't allow your emotions to override or cloud what you know is right.
* Do not feel guilty!!!

Above all, don't allow your self to be used or controlled by others. There are some individuals that will jump at the chance to manipulate a situation to their benefit. When you sense that others motives are not to your benefit, hit it head on.

Being addicted to needing approval is something that can be corrected. Find your power source (mine is the Lord) and plug in. Recharge yourself. Fill up with confidence. When you are fully charged, you will find that the need for approval has either dwindled or is gone completely.