Holding On To Grudges

The word grudge is defined as being unwilling to give or admit; to give or allow reluctantly or resentfully; having a feeling of deep-seated resentment or ill will.

Grudges impact our happiness. It keeps us in a state of anger, resentment, disappointment and bewilderment. We've all experienced holding on to grudges or being the recipient of a grudge. When you are the person holding the grudge you find ways to support your reasoning behind the grudge(s). People were rude to you, or judged you incorrectly, you have a perception of the individual that goes against your morals or maybe the individual caused harm to you or someone you care about.

If you are the recipient of the grudge you may or may not ever know the reason behind the grudge, why an individual won't speak to you, or maybe why a friendship has been terminated.

Whatever the reason, there will come a time that you may have to 1) consider your role (if any) in the situation and or 2) determine whether you want to resolve the situation. Soul searching will be required. If you are carrying the bitterness, what is causing the unrest in your life? Is it possible that your perception or judgment is incorrect or unfounded? Are you willing to make amends? If you're the recipient of the grudge are you willing to apologize without laying blame? If so, it won't matter who is at fault. You cannot control the actions of others. You may have to accept that the situation won't change. If so, it may be time to walk away from the friendship or relationship.

The main goal will be to resolve any conflict. Ultimately, your happiness is up to you. There's nothing to be gained by holding on to bitterness. It is up to you to determine whether you choose to be strong and let go.