Controlling My "Momma's Mouth"

We've all heard the saying "if momma ain't happy, no one is happy". I started thinking about those words and what they really meant. I've come to realize that a mom carries a lot of weight in the family dynamics. Mom's have the ability to influence their family and the family's moods. As mom's, we have the wisdom and discernment to know when things aren't quite right in our household. Our internal "radar" is activated when something is going on with our spouse or our kids (i.e., they're having a rough day). We get into our fix-it mode.

Our attitude or approach to handling things can affect our households. What we say and how we react to different situations can cause havoc. The words we speak carry a lot of power. We can praise, maim or destroy with our words.

I can recall a situation where I asked one of my children to iron a shirt for me. I have my own process of how to iron a shirt. In order, I iron the collar first, then the back panel, left side, middle, right side and the sleeves are ironed last. This process has always worked for me. It's how I was taught. So, when my child's way of ironing my shirt was different than my way, I got upset. I criticized their method with my "momma's mouth". I wanted my shirt ironed the right way, my way. I laugh at this memory now. When your shirts need ironing it doesn't matter what portion gets ironed first. The goal is to have a wrinkle free shirt.

My "momma's mouth" could be very critical. It was my way of providing correction to any situation that didn't support my way of doing things. Eventually, I learned that I used my "momma's mouth" as a control mechanism. Whether my correction was done with a sweet or critical voice, my goal was to manipulate the results in my favor. I was a Class A control freak.

To me, having a "momma's mouth" is descriptive of someone who always has to have things done their way. There is no allowance for creativity. Anyone can have a "momma's mouth (parents, siblings, friends, teachers, bosses, etc.). Having a "momma's mouth" can get in the way when dealing with people. After all, if your belief is that your way is the only right way, you can't be receptive to hearing other ideas, learning new things or trying different approaches.

Do you have a "momma's mouth"? If so, consider using praise. Commend others for being an individual; for finding new ways to accomplish the same task. By focusing on being positive, you give yourself a means of curing your "momma's mouth" resulting in no longer needing to correct or control. So, go ahead, free yourself from "momma's mouth" syndrome. Your family will appreciate it and you'll be much happier.