Did I Ask For Your Opinion?

Everyone has an opinion. It's part of life. From the time we are young we develop thoughts and opinions. We form the foundation of our thoughts and opinions based on what we see, hear or experience. This foundation becomes the core to our beliefs and opinions. Added to our beliefs are the beliefs and opinions handed down generationally. This becomes our roadmap of how to converse with others.

We enter into conversations with others typically to learn more about them, to share information and viewpoints. For the most part, these conversations are cordial, each party gaining knowledge of some sort.  

I usually enjoy hearing the opinions of others as, oftentimes, there may be a viewpoint I may have overlooked or not considered. These differences of opinions could provide an answer to a situation that was causing concern. So, what happens when you're not in the mood for a discussion or your opinions or beliefs conflict with another?

What may be somewhat stressful is speaking with an individual who is very opinionated. They offer their opinions whether it was requested or not. Sometimes, you can't get away from them quick enough. There are individuals whose belief it is that only their opinion matters. No matter what the topic, they have all the answers. The discussion could be about the choice of color to paint a room, or whether you should get married. If your opinion doesn't match theirs, they take it upon themselves to show you the error of your way. It's as if they think we don't know how to make sound decisions about our own life.

I've come to learn that opinionated people are fearful. They fear that they may be perceived as not being intelligent. They carry around false beliefs that are cemented into their opinions. There's a need to be right about everything. There's an unwillingness to admit that their opinion(s) may be wrong. Until they are willing to delve into these fears and false beliefs, things will remain the same for them. They will want to "win" at every discussion as it meets their need to "puff" themselves up. They see this as having some kind of power over you. Although you may be tempted to respond with "Did I ask for you opinion?" don't fuel the fire by taking the bait.

As you begin to recognize and understand the ways of the "Opinionator" you'll learn how to deflect any stress. That's the only way to avoid conflict and maintain a friendly relationship.