Every now and then we all need support and understanding from family and friends. When we're feeling sad, insecure, disgruntled, etc., it's good to know that someone is in our corner. We want someone to just listen to us. Be there for us. No judgment; no commentary.
I can remember times when I thought my life was over. Nothing was going right. I felt alone, misunderstood. No one would listen to how I was feeling. The only support I received was from people wanting to dictate what I should or shouldn't do.
What does it mean to understand? Understand is made up of two words, under and stand. Under means to be in or into a position below or beneath something; receiving. Stand means unwavering support. So, how do we get our family and friends to stand by us, to provide support to us without offering advice?
Communication is key. If you are the one who needs the support, you must be able to tell the individual that you just need to vent; that you need them to just listen. If you're the person being approached, you'll need to ask the person if they are seeking advice or just needing someone to listen.
Sometimes just being able to say "I understand" makes all the difference in the world. "I understand" offers reassurance; it provides the opportunity to give support without providing unwarranted or well-meaning solutions. We may have experienced the pain that is being felt; we may have grappled with the same issues, however, what worked for us may not be the right choice for someone else.
Although we don't need affirmations from others telling us that things will be okay, knowing someone gets it by understanding is refreshing. Having someone understand us is something to appreciate. So, going forward, how will you communicate that you understand?
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