What Did You Say?

Every day we engage in numerous conversations. These conversations could be informative, instructional, etc. We have a clear picture in our mind of what we want to say or describe. Unfortunately, what we say may not be what the other person hears or understands. At times, based on their responses (i.e. "What did you say?"), we wonder if they listened to us at all.

How do you determine that what you said was understood correctly? Do you ask the other person if they have any questions?

I can recall an instance where I needed to have rice cooked by the time I arrived home from work. I called and asked my teenage niece to plug in the rice cooker. What a relief. That was one less thing I had to worry about. When I got home, we began placing the cooked food on platters. I unplugged the rice cooker and lifted the lid. To my surprise, there was no rice in the cooker. I asked my niece what happened. She said "You asked me to plug in the rice cooker. You didn't ask me to put rice in it". As I stared at her I realized she was right and I began to laugh. I had not provided clear instructions.

Later that evening I shared the story with her dad, my brother. He had a different viewpoint. He felt that my niece should have known what I meant. Although we didn't agree with whether to assign any blame, it was clear that I had a responsibility to ensure that my instructions were conveyed correctly.

Communication seems like such a "no brainer" yet we sometimes question the basis of another's interpretation. Everyone doesn't think what we think they think.

In addition, when we talk to people their mind is typically racing ahead. They have already begun to think about other subjects. We need to bring them back to the present conversation. Both the talker and the listener have a responsibility to understand where the other person is coming from and what was meant. Checking for understanding will save you from a future of mishaps and or grievances.