Being a Control Freak

After years of repetition, we develop our own way of thinking and our own style of doing things. Experience shows us through trial and error, what our comfort levels are when faced with doing different tasks or making decisions. What happens then, when you encounter situations that are handled differently than you expect? Do you freak out?

How you were raised can have an impact on how situations are handled. If you were raised being told "it's my way or else", you may have developed a need to control every outcome. You may have been taught that the only "right" way to getting something done is by doing it yourself.

Let's use washing clothes as an example. One can sort clothes into categories such as separating the whites from the colored clothes. You can separate linens from work clothes or maybe separate clothes that "bleed" from delicate items. What would your reaction be to seeing someone throw all clothes into the laundry without any type of separation? Would you become unglued and immediately start telling them all of the things they were doing wrong?

If you sense irritation bubbling up inside of you, you may be dealing with control issues. If your thoughts immediately go into comparison mode (how you do things versus how they do things), that is an indication that you may see doing things differently as being wrong.

If, however, you were raised with the attitude that there is more than one way to achieving the results you want, you will be more receptive to trusting another person's ways or ideas. Like the old saying, "there's more than one way to skin a cat". Someone else may have a better or quicker solution to resolving the situation.

In an effort to not be a control freak, you may want to consider the following:

• Is the issue worth you having your way?
• Will having your way destroy a friendship and if so, is it worth it?
• Do you have a need to take control and do everything yourself?
• Do you feel your way is the only way?
• Do your friends and family comment on your need to control things?
• Are you trying to control things even when you don't have a role in the situation? If it doesn't affect you, why are you involved?

If you answered yes to many of the questions above, you may want to reconsider how you handle different scenarios or situations. Maybe it's time to let go of things that you can't control. Letting go will reduce your stress levels. Let go by getting comfortable with allowing others input into the situation. This will provide encouragement to others. It will show them that you have faith in their abilities.

We all want to ensure that things are handled correctly. Eventually, you will learn when it's okay to give up control. You'll come to appreciate the different people styles, and you'll appreciate the calmer you.