Feeling Angry?

Do you ever wonder what makes you angry?

Anger is described as an intense emotional state induced by displeasure. We have all caused anger and have been at the receiving end of anger. Neither situation is good. When we cause the anger we lay hurt at another persons feet. When we receive anger, it causes a mixture of emotions within us.

We have all faced circumstances that have caused us to react with anger. What is it about certain situations that cause us to adopt a different "personality"? Let me share a few personal examples:

I can recall instances coming home from work yelling at my spouse, kids and even the dog. Every thing they did upset me. I couldn't get a break. There was a consistent barrage of requests. Why couldn't they fend for themselves? I could never turn off the 'open for business" sign of being a wife/mother. What I learned was that the feelings of anger were a result of my being tired. I was able to arrange a 5-minute "me time" as soon as I got home that provided me with a 5-monute respite. The respite worked wonders to alleviate anger caused by stress.

A member of my family is forever angry. The least little thing upsets him. He swears and yells at anyone who does not perform to his demands. It got to the point where I avoided visiting other family members if I knew he would be there. I finally decided I had had enough. I told him that I was setting boundaries. If he wanted a relationship with me, he would have to cease yelling and swearing. He would have to be respectful. I stood my ground and he eventually changed the way he spoke to me.

When I worked in corporate America, I would snap at people who questioned my style of management; how or why I handled things the way I did. I interpreted their questions as "being challenged". I would get upset. I had a need to self-protect. I didn't want anyone to know that I was insecure and afraid of being wrong. I decided to change my approach. Instead of feeling "challenged", I began to ask for their input. This led to the realization that I did not have all the answers, which in turn, enabled me to let go of my insecurities.

These are just a few examples of how to deflect being angry. Think of ways you can turn your anger into learning opportunities. When you are in line at the grocery store and the line is slow, grab a magazine to take your mind off of being impatient. If you are rude to people, if you are a proponent of "road rage", it's time to take a look at why you are experiencing these feelings of anger. What has led up to the situation and what can you do to dissolve the explosive reactions?

We all struggle with ways of handling what life throws our way. Being angry signifies that something in your life needs to be addressed. If you choose to hide from anger and not do anything to correct it, then the anger will eventually control your life. If, however, you come to understand that anger is formed by fear, then you can develop the appropriate tools to diffuse the anger. Remember, anger isn't always a negative. Anger presents you with opportunities to learn different ways of handling situations.

Isn't it time you noticed when these feelings of anger are approaching? Take control of your life. Choose to be happy and stress free when facing challenging times. You'll be glad you did.