I Am NOT The Complaint Department

Throughout my life I've had people confide in me. I've been told I'm easy to talk to and that I am a good listener. I've never really given it much thought. I enjoy encouraging people, so, I've been happy to help.

There comes a time, however, when enough is enough. I'm not the catchall for all problems. I do not have a sign indicating that I am open for business 24/7 to hear about what some might consider mistreatment. I'm also not the person to vent to (just because).

I realize that we all have challenges to face. We, at times, must deal with unpleasant circumstances. Our approach to these situations could make all the difference in the world. Why would you want to call me to complain about being hung up on because you yelled at or cussed someone out? If you are disrespectful to people, it's only natural that people will treat you as though you are diseased. They will want to stay as far away from you as possible.

I had someone try to complain to me about having to continuously repeat what they said when dealing with someone who has Alzheimer's. Seriously? Have you considered writing things down so that there's no need for repetition?

Why complain to me about the payments you now have to make for a purchase that you knew you didn't need and couldn't afford? You knew when you went in to the store that you didn't have the money to spend. Now, your purchase is going to collect dust with all the other unused purchases.

Honestly, sometimes we are our own worst enemy. We allow things to get to us. When we are mad at ourselves for something that we caused, we don't think twice about "sharing" our moodiness. We can even get mad at an individual for being happy all the time. I recall working with someone who would walk into the office whistling every day. She would say hello to everyone and offer them a wish to have a great day. I was dumbfounded, when, one day a colleague of ours complained about the whistling and the cheery disposition and the supervisor asked the "happy" colleague to cease and desist.

So, I'm recommending that individuals take a good look at the situation that they are in. If you are stressed, walk away. Table any discussion until you have your emotions under control. If the situation that you are facing is something that you can control, will have an impact on, or can cause an effect, then that's ok. If, however, you can't control the situation, won't impact the outcome or can't effect the situation, then leave it alone. Don't engage in any conversations about anything that doesn't concern you.

Understand, that I will always make myself available to you in your time of need. I will continue to lend an ear, and offer encouragement. I will NOT, however, be your personal dumping ground. The doors to the complaint department are closed. I will re-open for business when your outlook is receptive  to positive feedback and conducive to personal change.

Until then.....

Living Life With Gratitude

There are many studies that support gratitude's effectiveness. Think about it. You can be healthier, happier, approachable, etc. Isn't life much simpler when you appreciate things? When you are grateful for what you have, it leads to contentment. You tend to have a more positive disposition.

So many of us were raised to focus on the negatives. If something wasn't going the way you wanted or expected, then the natural recourse was to complain. For some, complaining was just part of life. Complaining can keep you in an emotional and negative state of mind, which, ultimately, leads to stress. When you are in 'complaint' mode, it's so easy to justify your negative behavior. As a complainer, it's easy to see what is missing or lacking in your life.  

So, what happens when you realize that it's time to change? Wanting to change will certainly pose some challenges. It will involve learning new ways that will lead to healing. At first, it can be scary. You can hit some road blocks, however, stay on point.

Living life with gratitude takes practice. There are some behaviors and false beliefs that will have to be overcome. You can't obtain gratitude by ignoring past behaviors. The more appreciation that you have in your life affords you many opportunities and blessings.

Each day presents us with instances to be grateful. Whether you're at work, home, school, etc., practice gratitude. Share your gratitude with others. Pass it on. Tell others what you appreciate about them.

Slowly but surely, you will begin to notice how living with gratitude impacts your life. Gratitude provides you with hope and contentment. That's the end result we all want.

2014: A Year of Gratitude

Wow, 2014 is here. In the previous years, just like so many others, I would write down my list of resolutions that I wanted to accomplish. Well, no more. I no longer kid myself into believing that a few items written on a piece of paper will instill in me a desire of accomplishments. So, I no longer make New Year resolutions. I learned a long time ago that although it was fun having a list of what I hoped for, the results were always the same. The list went by the wayside because I never really took my list seriously.

I like the idea of starting out the year with a focus in mind. So, the question becomes how do I want to approach 2014? I want to piggyback off of 2013. Instead of New Year resolutions, I opted for a "word" that would describe what I expected out of 2013. The word I chose was "redeem". Webster's Dictionary defines redeem in many ways. Redeem means to free from what distresses or harms us; to extricate from or help to overcome something; to release from blame or debt; to change for the better; to make good; to atone for; to rescue.

I recall many situations whereby I "redeemed" myself by forgiving myself and others. I let go of guilt and anger. I stopped being mad at myself. I redeemed myself by making positive changes in my life.

2013 was a year of redemption. As a result, the year provided me with numerous instances of being grateful. Grateful for the changes in my heart, my approach to situations and people. My desire is to continue on this path.

So, as it is now 2014, it is time for me to pick a new word. Choosing this years word took some deliberation. I wanted a word that would continue me on the path of being grateful. The word I chose  for 2014 is "represent". Webster's Dictionary defines "represent" as speaking or acting for someone; to portray; to serve as a sign or symbol; to describe as having a specified character or quality.

Living a life filled with gratitude is a good way to "represent" one's self. People will see how happy and content you are. Throughout the year I want to "represent" the positives. Instead of complaining about what I feel I may be lacking in life, I will be grateful for what I do have.

Some of the steps that you can take to portray gratitude is being responsible for your actions. You can let go of anything that gets in the way of what you want to accomplish. Learn from your mistakes. Celebrate and acknowledge what you have. These are just a few steps that will assist you with "representing" your character. It will also keep you in the state of being grateful; of moving in the right direction.

2014 provides you with a clean slate. Allow me to provide the following scriptures to provide support.

"I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me" Phillipians 4:13, provides you with the mindset that it's okay to try different things.

Jeremiah 29:11KJV states "For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope".

What are you willing to do to live a life of gratitude?