Wednesday, March 20, 2013

No One Likes To Be "Should" On


Do you enjoy being told what to do? You should do this, you shouldn't do that. Why do people feel it's their "right" to determine how we want to live our lives?

As a child, parents and teachers offer guidance as to how decisions are made. The key seems to be on the approach that is taken. Telling someone what they "better do" or "should/shouldn't do" is not always received or seen in a positive light. What emotions do you encounter when you are told what you better do? Do you want to follow what you're being instructed to do or do you ignore the individual?

We all have expectations of ourselves and of others. When expectations aren't met it results in disappointment. We wonder about the need others have to manage or control our actions (especially if these individuals have difficulty managing their own lives).

Those of us wearing the "you better" or "you should" hats may want to consider how we phrase our comments/advise. If the true intent is to help the individual, then a "scolding" approach is not appropriate.  

Consider your reaction when people tell you what you should or shouldn't do. Do you feel as if you're being perceived as not being capable of making sound decisions? Don't allow others to dictate who you are or what your capabilities are. Recognize that the advice being given to you may have nothing to do with you or your situation.

The bottom line is that no one likes to be "should on". Glean what you can from the advice being offered. If there's value to the advice, accept it and take the appropriate action. If there is no value, ignore the advice and move on.  

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