Whenever I hear those words, I brace myself for some type of criticism. I'm being warned upfront that I might have a reaction to a comment that is being directed at me; that the comment may not come out nicely. Does prefacing the comment with "no offense" before insulting someone make it okay?
We have all been in situations where friends and family have been in a crisis mode. Or maybe they're struggling with making a decision. We want to offer encouragement and or advice. Without thinking things through we offer our guidance. If we haven't taken the time to ensure that we understand the situation, then our words could add insult to injury.
What do you think of when you hear the words "no offense"? Do the words cause any reaction? If the answer is no, then that is great. Not reacting or not allowing the comments to affect you is the better way to handle criticism or negative input. If, however, you get defensive, you may want to determine the reasons behind the reaction. Is the issue the person making the comment? Is it what was said, or maybe, you're reacting to unsolicited advice?
Resist the temptation to say "I didn't ask for your advice". Don't allow the insult to affect you. Consider that the person may truly have meant well. They just may not know how to effectively communicate their concern.
If, however, the comments are purposely mean-spirited, then you have to consider the source. Consider that there is something going on in that person's life that is causing them to make hurtful comments. In this scenario, the comments have nothing to do with you. Shake off the negativity. You do not need to respond.
Whatever the situation, thank the person for their concern and move on. You do not owe them any explanation or response. However you choose to acknowledging that you heard them is on you. You alone have the power to negate any negativity. Take the high road. You'll be a happier, better person.
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